April 2006 _____________________________________________________ end of winter blues

Getting by is enough right now.

March 2006 _________________________________________________ this ink wants to bleed

writings: January
- Crying
- Helpless
- Right Now
- Heroes
- The Weirdness
- Congratulations
- I ain't goin' nowhere
- Islander
- Noise Memory
- Traffic Truth
- The Transparency of Pain
- No Words

writings: February
- In a Sentence
- Silence
- a message
- Patience
- Be Careful
- rag doll
- questions
- Writer's Block
- Theorists We Are
- You Take Me
- On a Cloudy-Wet Afternoon in Reston, Virginia
- Knotting
- Satellite Soul (in progress)
- My Story
+ Part 1 - I Went Here First
+ Part 2 - Adding to the Adjectives
+ Part 3 - So so So

this ink wants to bleed (journal entries as written)

1/18 - The words will come to me when they are ready. The image, the rhythm, will find a voice and the ache will pour out into the unspoken blank space between us. That place I haven't seen and can't touch, and know of its existence by the filling tears.

1/22 - The words,
they come in single waves,
a phrase
a jerky burst
a splash.
Nothing whole.
Nothing complete.
Back to waiting.

1/31 - on the last day of this month
I write this...
it's been a horrible 31 days
still settling in my mind
my memory
waiting
waiting
begging for perception,
for distance.
But change is dancing on the horizon
up into the sun
and I'm blinded
and relying on shadow
and what I think I see.

Tethered to this spot, but
looking to draw up my anchor
and relocate my
self
been floating for too long

UNFINISHED (written in capital letters and underlined)

2/10 - trying to write
within a blank rectangle -
not the shape of my expression,
this ink wants to bleed
and spill over these edges
my mind is in scribbles
a single blink starts the shaking
vibrating lines curved and blurry
ball my fists to hold air
press my feet into the ground
suspend breathing to mimic stillness
mimic silence
ears catching pen tip on paper
circling and violent - angry

There is a delicate balance of waiting for life to happen, and accepting that life is actually happening.
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Guest writer kx is proving to be elusive. Stay tuned for future updates featuring the talents and wisdom of the mysterious kx.

contact : casey@soulsmiles.com