October 2005 ________________________________________ "destination is a constant am"

writings:

- 555 Any St.
- Putting On a Show
- Recorded Conversations
- Uneven Words
- Finishing
- Genealogy
- lines
- Signal Strength
- In the Shower
- Tearing Down the Structure
- On Writing
- This Kid I Knew
- No Time At All
- Below/Above
- Irrational Thought (one)
- Isolation
- My Girl, My Boy
- I Promised Myself Time
- Intimidation
- ?
- Origin of the Scribble
- Bottom Heavy


photography:

Road Trip - sunflowers, buffalo, beautiful views, and beautiful ladies...

"destination is a constant am" ( * )

I got a job.
I work at an independent queer bookstore in Ann Arbor.
I haven't had a job in five years. Therefore, me being able to go out on my own and get a job is a huge step forward. It's progress. Not having a job has never been about laziness, it's always been about fear; fear so great I was unable to get a job. And now I'm a writer who works in a space full of words. Dig.

The problem I faced with getting a job was using it as a hinge to greater things beyond my current frame of existence. I was going to get a job, move out on my own, become an adult, and wait for my life to start. I forgot for a moment about Right Now, forgot about the process due to such intent focus on the structure of my future - destination.

But HERE is where I AM.
THIS is my DESTINATION.
Right fucking Now.


* from a poem titled "Harvest: A Line Drawing"
by: Gregory Pardlo

contact : casey@soulsmiles.com