October
4, 2004 + "beautiful struggle"My current state of affairs is an array of confliction and joy. I've been experiencing this transition for the past few months, this inner growth, which I've battled and built proverbial walls to defend against. But it's here, and it's left me confused and jubilant. I was the kid who never wanted to grow up, who wanted to stay innocent and carefree for as long as I could. I've never felt my age, always younger, in my defiance to adulthood. And now I'm sort of feeling 25; with the mind and knowledge of a 25-year-old. It remains to be seen how long this lasts.
This newfound evolution has allowed me to reach into the dangerous past and reconcile some experiences. Could I be anymore cryptic? I had this friend once, shit fell the fuck out, pain and anger ensued, I grew the fuck up, and now things are getting cool again. That is a very simple and understated explanation of the friendship, but all I choose to reveal at the moment. I've lost friends in the past, but none of them are this significant and important to me.
Ah yes, the first face-to-face power struggle of the election: Thursday night's presidential debate. By all accounts (except Republicans, but they don't count) Kerry won the evening. But it's really not that hard for Bush to come off as a greedy weasel, being that he is one and all. Kerry seemed defiant and well-spoken, while Bush fumbled with his words and his flashcards. I found myself screaming at the TV when I could see the wheels spinning in Bush's brain, but nothing was coming out. He just stared at the camera!
65 million people watched the debate. That shows me how important this election is. How undecided a lot of Americans are. My plight all along has been to get Bush out of office, no matter who replaces him. I've been worried about Kerry's indecision and lack of official stands on many issues, but I'm convinced he's better than Bush. Convinced! I am so overwhelmed with fear by the thought of Bush being reelected as the leader of this country. It's just not right, HE'S not right, he's not smart, he's not just. So please, for the good of your future, DEFEAT BUSH!
Due to the motivation from my creative nonfiction class I've been writing a lot more. Actually, one of the things I'd prepared for this update is now going to be my next essay for that class, so you have to wait for it's final draft a few weeks down the road (so sorry). But I do have the first essay for the class ready for your reading pleasure. I've surprisingly never told this story before in essay form before. The last two essays I've posted have been quite somber, but this one had me laughing as I was writing it. I will not tell you anymore about it and let you read it for yourself.
