September 19, 2004 + insomnia

Saturday night, Sunday morning, whichever you prefer, it's currently 5:05 am. I'm tired, but cannot sleep. I toss and turn, sit up with illusionary epiphanies, hang my head in frustration, get up and watch tv, lay down and watch tv, nothing's working. I've even resorted to one of the most mind numbing games I can think of, Minesweeper, but my mind stays awake. The banality of CHiP's isn't even enough to lull me to sleep. My mind just won't fucking turn off. What could she possibly be thinking about, you ask yourselves. Ah, if I told you I lose all mysteriousness...Someone please hit me over the head with something hard to induce a blank mind. Please pardon the lack of clarity in thought here. Lucky for you I wrote the rest of the update days ago.

In this update you will find an update on school hip-happenings (including my own obituary as written by me), weight-loss progress, a movie review, some music recommendations, and perhaps some other fun shit.

This part of the update is actually being written in my Intro. to Mid. East class, so that should tell you how fucking bored I am. Let me tell you what this prof is doing now. We're watching a film, a documentary on the Afghan election process, and this fucker is taking attendance; fighting for audio space over the movie. So what do I pay attention to? I choose you people! Fuck this movie, fuck this prof, fuck this class.

The other class I'm taking this semester is a Workshop in Creative Nonfiction. It's a night class and meets only once a week, which bums me out cause I really like it. It has sparked many, many essay ideas. Our first writing assignment was to write our own obituary. That was insanely tough. I took the thing I was most afraid of and wrote about that in an attempt to face that fear, to explore honestly my feelings of death, my own death. The title is What Once Was Three, Now is Two, click below to read it.

Essay > What Once Was Three, Now is Two

My sights had really been set on hitting 50, and this week I blew right past 50 and touched 55. Which means I lost 7 pounds in one week, not healthy Casey. This insane weight loss is an indication of the "stress" I've been handling this week. And now it comes with a side of insomnia. I put stress in quotation marks because it isn't really stress, it's more a monsoon of emotion. There's a line I cross where emotional eating becomes unappealing and my appetite disappears. I have to be really "stressed" out for that to happen. However, worry not of me because it will end, that is the nature of all things.

I promised myself pizza when I hit 50 because I've had a yearning for it that I've been suppressing for a good month now. It got so bad that when my sister ordered a pizza I opened the box and desperately inhaled. I sat in inner turmoil for the next fifteen minutes debating whether or not I should dive in. I didn't. But I will do see Domino's Thin Crust in my future.


HERO

Jet Li, Zhang Ziyi, martial arts, artistic cinematography; all good right? Wrong. The mistake I made in watching this movie was expecting an asian epic adventure instead of a beautifully done art house film. The previews deceived me in a grand illusory way. The move was slow, really...fucking...slow. The story is told three or four different ways, each using a different color. I found myself wishing one of the characters would just go ahead and die already. But aside from the three-legged turtle walking in quicksand pace, the movie was definitely beautiful, which makes it worthy of renting. The colors, the use of slow-motion, the "crouching tiger" flying were all magnificent. These attributes weren't over done, they didn't take away from the story, they were woven into the fabric of the story.

This movie was actually filmed in 2001 or 2002 and is just now being released in theaters. And now on with the conclusionary "if" statement that have become a staple to these movie reviews. If you're into the art house, independent, film genre then I would recommend this movie to you, but if you are expecting an epic story (a la Crouching Tiger) then wait for the rental. But definitely check this film out for art's sake.


Just a quick list of good new music I've heard lately.

- Three Days Grace "Wake Up"
- Scissor Sisters "Take Your Mama"
- Velvet Revolver "Fall to Pieces"