I grew up in a somewhat religious home. Meaning we went to church three times
a week and followed the moral code that comes along with being a churchgoer; no
drinking, no taking the Lords name in vain, no swearing, etc. But it wasn’t
like my family was that serious about it. It was more like a family tradition
passed on from generation to generation. Once I escaped the mind control of organized
religion, southern Christianity at that, I felt the freedom to create my own set
of moral codes. One of those rules I abandoned was that of no swearing.
For anyone who knows me they know that I swear, and I swear a lot. “Fuck”
is like the greatest word ever created. Some people say all swearing is rude and
insulting, a sin if you will. And you can probably guess what I say to that: fuck
it! Swearing is freedom of expression; the freedom to say, or write, anything
I want, any way I want.
My very first swear word was “shit.” I was in third grade at a new
school trying to make new friends. I figured if I had the balls to swear then
I would be considered pretty cool, right? I wrote “Ryan is shit.”
on a piece of playground equipment in the schoolyard. Vandalism aside, I felt
naughty, like I had committed the worst sin ever and gotten away with it. I don’t
remember if I got in trouble, or even if I got caught, I just remember feeling
elated. It was such a release.
Thus began the making of the potty-mouthed individual I am today. I don’t
notice when I swear now because it’s just a part of my vocabulary. It’s
when other people notice that gets me to pay attention to the words coming out
of my mouth. When my mom shoots me that “you better watch your language
young lady” look in public I take notice to what I just said. She has been
my biggest critic when it comes to swearing. She HATES the word “fuck,”
but I’ve wore her down the past few years, so much so that she actually
drops the f-bomb every now and again.
“Fuck” is probably the most inappropriate of all swear words. Just
saying it out loud makes you feel like you're getting away with something. By
adding the word “fuck” to a phrase the magnitude increases exponentially.
For example, saying, “you’re a bitch.” isn’t that scathing,
but if you say, “you’re a fucking bitch.” the insult seems to
grow fangs before your very ears. Here’s another example, “I hate
giving speeches.” Not bad, right? You understand that I don’t like
giving speeches, but let me tell you how I really feel; “I fucking hate
giving fucking speeches.” Now you know exactly how I feel. The first sentence
just doesn’t carry the same weight as the second, and by adding the word
“fucking” twice I have made my point VERY clear.
It’s only been within the past few weeks that I’ve come to appreciate
the powerful use of curse words in my writing. I’ve always wanted to convey
a certain intellect when I write, a certain standard that let’s the reader
know how smart or funny I am. I thought if I swore I would be dumbing-down the
writing, or that I didn‘t need to swear to be funny. But on my last essay
I just let loose; fuck this, fuck that, fuck your mom, fuck, fuck, and fuck (The
essay was a sarcastic confession of my road rage.). It felt great to finally write
so uninhibited; to actually write the way I talk. And it was a good essay, which
wouldn’t have conveyed the same meaning if I didn’t use swear words.
Now, that doesn’t mean that I plan to swear in everything I write, but to
have it at one’s disposal, to have it in your “toolbox,” is
quite handy.
But what about the children? Well, what about them? All children learn to swear,
it’s a natural part of the growing-up process, a right-of-passage. But have
no fear, not every child is going to grow-up with a mouth like mine. And if they
do, who cares? Swearing is not going to harm anyone, not even a child. Will swearing
lead a child to stick a needle in their arm? No. Will swearing create violence
in a child? No. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating going out and
teaching every kid you know to swear, but let them find out about the right of
cursing on their own, they will anyway. Maybe some of them will grow up to be
writers who aren’t afraid to drop a “fuck” or a “shit”
into their writing when necessary.
As writers we use language to convey meaning, to create drama and satire, to establish
tone and voice in our writing. We manipulate words so our readers can understand
what’s going on in our heads. But if we limit ourselves to those words deemed
politically correct or socially appropriate we are censoring the language; the
language we work so diligently with to provide meaning to our readers. We cannot
let the stigmas that accompany curse words invade our writing. It would be an
injustice to writers before us, and writers to follow, to allow anyone to put
a restriction on any form of writing. And censoring ourselves is equally asinine.
Self-censorship is perhaps the worst kind of censorship because the censoring
has started before a word has even been written. But that restriction can be obliterated
by allowing yourself to explore the value of the swear word, the power that comes
with placing a “fuck” into your writing. But don’t swear just
to swear, swear with some fucking conviction!
*written April 11, 2003 for an Advanced Writing class