Untitled
what if what I know is filling space for what I don’t know
?
clinging to knowledge of this appearance
this wake-up-in-the-morning-and-smile existence hiding the dreams/nightmares
I just woke up from
ignoring the clenched jaw and fear-squeezing eyes creating this loud headache
I inhale
but question the air
exhale
and question myself
telling myself to just get through the day
survive the conversation
tolerate the pain of these stormy open eyes
hoping to return naked under the covers thrown back across the bed.
what if what I know is filling space for what I don’t know
this is not a question anymore.
these are words repeating themselves in my head
play rewind play rewind play rewind
the rewind comes from fear of letting go of the player
there is no pressing play
walking away
allowing this noise of life to continue where it’s headed anyway.
August 1, 2005