I can write...
I can write with comfort
knowing
these words don't ever have to find an audience
don't ever have to be seen
or experienced.
I can write with abandon
knowing
this page can close on itself
never
to see light or sight again.
I can write with glory
knowing
these words will eventually be shared
because I enjoy the attention
they bring.
I can write with arrogance
knowing
my conceit gets me through the day sometimes
walking high and mighty
as a creative writer.
I can write with paranoia
knowing
somewhere out there someone feels this shit too
and validates my worry
in their understanding.
I can write with self-hatred
knowing
I'm just protecting myself from you
beating myself up as I'm bringing myself down
before you ever get the chance.
October 25, 2005