Least Shaky
they are
breaking down
and I am left
with a shovel
to bury the bodies.
a bomb drops
and pain scatters
body parts,
pieces of heart
torn
from pieces of heart.
this is called
collateral damage,
casualty assessment
predetermined
by an algorithm
of predicted pain.
this is how much
I think
this is going to hurt.
risk estimation
leading to the hour of reckoning,
but this is followed
by another hour.
bleeding now together,
separated in silence.
rubbing my shirt sleeve
on the glass
of a subtle windowpane,
absent in presence,
punished - set outside in the cold -
for the least shaky structure.
bury me,
bury her,
then bury yourself.
I gotta wait
for the earth to shake
and slip in under the rubble
some place between
solid concrete pillar
and fallen metal reinforcement.
that explosion destroyed me too.
in the measure of pain
I come up lacking
therefore
unworthy of this rage.
December 7, 2005